This is how I am feeling right now: empty, blank, dull, monotone- you name it. 

To me, it is hard to find what I really want. I feel numb every time I try to figure it out. I keep thinking whenever or not I should continue down the path of life I'm going. I don't feel aligned with making interactive magazines or stuff as what I'm learning in college. Yet, I fear dropping out because I don't want to upset anybody. But something tells me there's more to life to the single road I'm taking- I too, deserve to take the road less travelled. 

Already, I want to experiment with lifestyles because I don't know what lifestyle I want. I don't want to go down the same road as other 20-something's are taking- get into a shitload of credit card debt; get a 9-5 job; please your boss, parents & peers; get promoted; get a car(which I do want to too); get a house; carry a humongous mortgage; find a boy/girlfriend; get married; have kids; get promoted more; retire; enjoy your last few years; kiss life goodbye. 

There is one thing I'm afraid of right now: living a life full of burden. Sadly, 99.9% of people on Earth live this way. It is as if those with the most burdens weighing down on them are what makes a great human being, of what society wants everyone to be. Truth is: I'm not good with burden. I don't desire to spend my life carrying a 400-pound backpack. All of us deserve to live burden free, to live a Thoreau-like lifestyle. 

I am not asking you what lifestyle you want me to take. I won't, because your answers can be wrong. I am certain I want to avoid any source of debt at all costs. Who knows I may choose to live out of a van? Or if I move to New Zealand or Switzerland? My  choice currently is to keep searching & experimenting. I may stumble on a lifestyle I like and I am hoping for the best. 

Maybe I'm just a little depressed...








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